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Sunday, October 30, 2011

And More Double D!!!....

LesbosOnTheCouch by Beth C, one of the Lesbos
...and more Double D.

Surely the Commander and Chief of the Men’s League had some agenda. It was highly uncharacteristic of him to request a meeting when such tension between the sides was at such a high point…He must have something planned….

Again Jane’s mind wandered. - Commander in Chief Dward. Oh, he was a handsome man, but his tender looks were deceiving, as was everything about him.

Jane hadn’t gotten to be Second Cowander on her outright knowledge and Judo abilities alone. That uncanny ability to perform hundreds of different tasks simultaneously – while her mind would focused on one something else in particular She could be teaching her JudoJuniors, or lecturing to the higher echelon… and all the while forming a new method or plan or theory that could – and often did, change the way of the world that she and the WFM had formed. How they all went about their daily duties and what exactly their goal was to be, this was a large part of Jane’s philosophies put into practice. Indeed Jane’s brilliance was one of the main and most vibrant sources of the force behind the Woman’s Forward Movement.

Jane, still lost in thought had already gotten into her transporter, checked the controls and spoke through her panmittter to base and programmed the coordinates of the clandestine meeting into the transporters guiding system.

“Ready Jane,” her transporter responded upon receiving the hand that that was so familiar these past few years, mission after mission. In a matter of minutes, Second Cowander Jane Double D had reached her destination –A cave hidden deep in the recesses of moon plane II.

The landing just outside the cave was barren. Either Dward hadn’t arrived yet or had come early enough to manuever his transporter to shelter. Double D suspected the latter. It was unlike Dward- Commander In Chief- to be late for anything, especially a meeting that he himself had requested. D walked up to the entrance of the cave, waiting a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness before entering. From the entrance she could see Dward kneeling by the altar. For a very short moment, Jane saw not Dward the Commander in Chief of the Men’s League, but Dward, long time Judo companion and favourite foe on the mat…No one could challenge he moves –no man had the nerve, the substance to challenge her the way he had.

Most of the men, upon seeing Jane on the mat, resplendent in her Judo Whites fell weak in the knees at the very sight of her goddess like body, flowing and strong – and then proceeded to severely underestimate the strength of ‘the woman.’’

Not Dward- He may have let his hormones, his affections and prejudices get the best of him off the mat –but on the mat he knew –Double D was one of the best, the quickest and the most knowledgeable Judoists to practice in this century- if not greater!

"Dward."

"Double D."

They exchanged the embraces of old friends, and D was relieved not to have to engage in immediate contra-contra tactics…maybe they could avoid a confrontation of the forces, after all.

Dward, who was the host- the initiator of this meet, offered the wine. "So what's this about Dward? Wine, secret meeting…Why the call to arms? You can't possibly think we passed the bad air?

"D, slow down. First friends, then foes…I see you wear the pin of 2nd Cowander. Congratulations. I understand this puts our meeting at different level-But Jane Double D…How can we just skip the part where our histories and attractions offer us respite from the possibility of conflict between our 2 sides.

"Dward, ever the man and the manipulator of womankind… How can we talk of affections when the possibility of air strikes and even all-out war stand in the balance…?"

"But Jane, that's just my point. We must, for the sake of averting war, make love."

The reference to the past was not lost on Double D. She has been remembering the days before the great Split that separated the men and women. The times when she and Dward fought on the same team, shared the same goals and dreams.

Dward and Double D fall into a pensive silence- both lost in a barrage of memories as they sit side by side on the stone bench that lines the dimly lit cave.

Dward turns to Jane and lifts a tentative hand to finger her pin. Jane, prepared for such a move executes a flip, chop and hold- Dward, gasping and laughing is on the floor- Janes knees in the soft of his neck, arm contorted in the air.

 ....

Sunday, October 16, 2011

LesbosInTheCar

LesbosOnTheCouch by Beth C, one of the Lesbos

We all give objects human characteristics --- I know that we all do this. And My Love and I are no different…for us, our car is one of those objects and I do declare our car has opinions of its own and maybe its opinion isn't exactly those of My Love and I…
The other day while we were on the way home, we were driving up the winding and curving road to our home, and our car starting beeping. You know that beep. Not the old time beep of the horn, but the beep of beep beep – (meaning beep, something is wrong beep something is wrong, beep, fix me, beep, fix me - Fix me!)
Beep – but there was nothing wrong with the car – The mechanic says it is just an ''electrical issue'. I disagree. I think it is my car making a statement. Why did it choose to make these loud beeps just as we were going up the winding and curving road?
Car dear, we have to talk.
The car ignored me and continued to beep up the road.
Now listen here. My Love and I are not straight.  The car went quiet. There is just nothing straight about us…and you belong to us, you are our car.
The beeping was reduced to one beep every other turn and curve.
We like the curvy twists and turns. We live a winding and curving life. The thing about curves and turns – you cannot see what is coming up next. With the winding and curving road, life is just full of surprises…some good, some not so good. Living the lives we live full of curves and twists seems to give us a hope and a fullness that we lacked before we knew each other – before we had you, dear car.
Our bodies curve and turn. Our bodies twist and turn and bend to meet every challenge life has to offer. My Love and I bend and twist with laughter. Our time together is joyful…and we are who we are and this curviness fills us with laughter and joy.
Face it car, you can't beep at every curve, twist and turn and be our car. We are the LesbosOnTheCouch, and to you, we are the LesbosInTheCar…You are our car. So stop beeping and Get Over It!
Amazingly enough, the car stopped beeping. I guess she gets it. I guess she's happy to. Who knows, maybe she is one of the Lesbos too.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Last of the Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream Will Be Gone

LesbosOnTheCouch by Beth C, one of the Lesbos

One more spoon and the last of the chocolate fudge brownie ice cream will be gone. One more spoon and I am on my way to the rocky road of trying to eat healthy – seems that trying to eat healthy ought to be called starving my soul – and not in the bosom of Abraham…maybe if I could just keep my soul in the bosom of My Love for an extended holiday of bobbobo booby bobs I wouldn't need to eat ice cream. Does anybody think that I can get some time off from work for booby bobbs in the bosom of My Love in the name of losing weight and being healthy – or how 'bout in the name of losing weight so as not to feel like a beached whale at my son's nuptials? Maybe if the bosom of Abraham doesn't work for me and I can't get time off for the bosom of My Love – maybe the bosom of Sarah or Mary would be a more acceptable pretext.
Let's face it. I love eating. I love food. I love cake. I love ice cream… but it doesn't stop there…I love a good sandwich and fries, pizza and spaghetti, pasta of any kind as long as it has tomato sauce… I do wish I could love my body the way My Love says she does but, I don't. I wish I could see myself through My Loves' eyes, but I don't…so, in an effort to love my body the way she does and the way I believe we all should love ourselves in order to be happier, well rounded well-grounded and easier to live with, I have come to a decision. ---I am going to embark on a road trip to un-beach the whale- to unwrap the blubber and needless and dangerous flubber…I say this with an empty ice cream container next to the computer on my desk- the empty ice cream container – the last of its kind to sooth my soul – the last of a long line of wonderfully chocolate treats- so long chocolate fudge brownies…. I say this with trepidation and tears in my eyes. I already miss my old friends…and they are still just a sniff away…I say this as we pass through Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New year and wing our way towards Yom Kippur- the Jewish Day of ultimate sacrifice – a fast day – (and I don't mean fast as in the opposite of slow – this day goes by anything but ''fast.''  How fast can a day go when you can't eat or drink anything? Slow, I tell you! Slow!)
Anyway, back to me and my body…I didn't always feel this way- I used to actually be slim…and then when I wasn't slim anymore, I sort of pretended not to notice and not to care- and then I got my eyes lasered…and now I can see myself in the shower. I can see myself in the mirror without looking for my glasses- I am just there- all there…all of a sudden, I am always there in front of myself…it's scary…I didn't realize how my glasses had protected me from having to see me…Oh well… I had an image of me as thin- well, darlin' I have some news for myself – I am babababa booming big…and I don't much like it….and then there was the Spencer Tunick outing of my blubber – there it is out and bouncy for all the world to see…oh yes, that shiny white whale in the front and center – that is me…big bush – that'd be My Love…But big bush is lovely and sexy and healthy and right ----big big me, not so much
So let's see where this goes….how long can I actually do the healthy thing (almost said straight and narrow'', but I am not straight and narrow- well that's never been my thing)
I bought myself a treadmill…and now I tread every day…but apparently this isn't enough. Apparently I must not eat in the late evening – after dinner no more snacks of ice cream and nuts and pizza and hamburgers and and and and stuff…no more stuff
Again I say- what I am going to do with all that free time left on my hands and mouth…how will I relieve the tension and amuse myself without using any more energy that I don't have--- booze is apparently not good either, except for a glass or two of wine…aha, there it is.. A saving thought or two…I can have wine and boobs…and TV to boot….
Yeha…I may be saved…Love, Love – do we have wine? And is it time for the bosom thing? I do love you…