The Last of the Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream Will Be Gone

LesbosOnTheCouch by Beth C, one of the Lesbos

One more spoon and the last of the chocolate fudge brownie ice cream will be gone. One more spoon and I am on my way to the rocky road of trying to eat healthy – seems that trying to eat healthy ought to be called starving my soul – and not in the bosom of Abraham…maybe if I could just keep my soul in the bosom of My Love for an extended holiday of bobbobo booby bobs I wouldn't need to eat ice cream. Does anybody think that I can get some time off from work for booby bobbs in the bosom of My Love in the name of losing weight and being healthy – or how 'bout in the name of losing weight so as not to feel like a beached whale at my son's nuptials? Maybe if the bosom of Abraham doesn't work for me and I can't get time off for the bosom of My Love – maybe the bosom of Sarah or Mary would be a more acceptable pretext.

Let's face it. I love eating. I love food. I love cake. I love ice cream… but it doesn't stop there…I love a good sandwich and fries, pizza and spaghetti, pasta of any kind as long as it has tomato sauce… I do wish I could love my body the way My Love says she does but, I don't. I wish I could see myself through My Loves' eyes, but I don't…so, in an effort to love my body the way she does and the way I believe we all should love ourselves in order to be happier, well rounded well-grounded and easier to live with, I have come to a decision. ---I am going to embark on a road trip to un-beach the whale- to unwrap the blubber and needless and dangerous flubber…I say this with an empty ice cream container next to the computer on my desk- the empty ice cream container – the last of its kind to sooth my soul – the last of a long line of wonderfully chocolate treats- so long chocolate fudge brownies…. I say this with trepidation and tears in my eyes. I already miss my old friends…and they are still just a sniff away…I say this as we pass through Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New year and wing our way towards Yom Kippur- the Jewish Day of ultimate sacrifice – a fast day – (and I don't mean fast as in the opposite of slow – this day goes by anything but ''fast.''  How fast can a day go when you can't eat or drink anything? Slow, I tell you! Slow!)

Anyway, back to me and my body…I didn't always feel this way- I used to actually be slim…and then when I wasn't slim anymore, I sort of pretended not to notice and not to care- and then I got my eyes lasered…and now I can see myself in the shower. I can see myself in the mirror without looking for my glasses- I am just there- all there…all of a sudden, I am always there in front of myself…it's scary…I didn't realize how my glasses had protected me from having to see me…Oh well… I had an image of me as thin- well, darlin' I have some news for myself – I am babababa booming big…and I don't much like it….and then there was the Spencer Tunick outing of my blubber – there it is out and bouncy for all the world to see…oh yes, that shiny white whale in the front and center – that is me…big bush – that'd be My Love…But big bush is lovely and sexy and healthy and right ----big big me, not so much

So let's see where this goes….how long can I actually do the healthy thing (almost said straight and narrow'', but I am not straight and narrow- well that's never been my thing)

I bought myself a treadmill…and now I tread every day…but apparently this isn't enough. Apparently I must not eat in the late evening – after dinner no more snacks of ice cream and nuts and pizza and hamburgers and and and and stuff…no more stuff…

Again I say- what I am going to do with all that free time left on my hands and mouth…how will I relieve the tension and amuse myself without using any more energy that I don't have--- booze is apparently not good either, except for a glass or two of wine…aha, there it is.. A saving thought or two…I can have wine and boobs…and TV to boot….

Yeha…I may be saved…Love, Love – do we have wine? And is it time for the bosom thing? I do love you…