Grateful - and a Lesbian Too

LesbosOnTheCouch by Beth C, one of the Lesbos

Love…love is a really big word. It should not be taken lightly…

My Love has been away for about a month…a trip to regenerate her soul, to find some cold and fresh air – to be physically in a different place.

My Love is coming back tomorrow. I love my love. I do not take this love lightly – but this love feels light. This love feels like that white bright life that gives us live.

I know that this is my day to write my blog – sometimes it is filled with sorrow, sometimes with silliness, sometimes with great sadness. Today I am just grateful. My Love is coming home. My Love has chosen to come home to be with me. She chooses me as I choose her…every day, every night.

Everything is a choice. Every day we make choices. We get up and go to work – that is a choice. We eat breakfast, grab a coffee and go. This is a choice. We speak …not only is speaking a choice- but having others in our lives, to listen to us, this is a choice as well.

Some of us chose to strip at the Dead Sea. Some of choose to stand in protest. Some of us choose to eat. Some of us choose to fight. Some of us choose to go to bed, to avoid a life. Some of us choose to wake and live each day…Some of us choose to love and some of us 'fall in love'…but the fact is, it is all a choice.

Every day, everything that I do or do not do, is a choice.

Everything we do is here and now. Everything that was, is now in the past, it is past. We can choose our present, we cannot choose our past….

I wake every day and make a conscious effort – I make the choice… every breath, every step, every minute, I make the choice to choose the present. This is so difficult…I often find myself caught up in a tidal wave of yesterday. I then feel lost and desolate and shamed. In these times, I choose to reach out to those whose hands and hearts are strong and sure and can lead me out of the water onto the shore. I am so lucky and so grateful to have these people in my life…

Today, I am very grateful for the choice that My Love has made – to come back home to me. I am grateful for the Love that has been given and I am grateful for the Blessings I have received ---the Blessings that I have received as a LesbianOnTheCouch, in a world where my past could have drowned me, had I been alone.

Today…I am grateful…to be this person, to be this woman, to be this Lesbian, to be this Loved, to be this Believer…to have my God.